Second Chance

 

In a country like India, second marriage, divorce, single parenthood etc are considered a social taboo. There are parents who in spite of knowing ill habits of a guy get him married thinking everything would set right once he gets married. But what if things don’t go in the desired way? Who is to be blamed here? The girl who was supposed to change him has to give up her dreams & tolerate everything till the end of her life. Even though she is not wrong, she is not supposed to get rid of the toxic relation. Our society doesn’t pull backwards the men, if they are the one who move on.

Again, imagine another scenario in which after marriage, if things are not going well as expected and suppose the man/woman talks about it to a third person. The reply would be everything will fall in its place once you have a kid. Bringing a new life into an unstable family is another curse. Now for the sake of the child, the incompatible couple, now parents stay under one roof. This builds wrong implications of family life in the innocent minds of the child growing up there. And this continues as a vicious circle. One can neither live together nor get separated.

We come across many deaths related to dowry nowadays. Aren’t the parents of groom & bride themselves responsible for this? Once a girl child is born, parents spend their whole life saving for her marriage. Instead, why can’t they use that money to educate her and make her capable to stand on her own legs? Similarly, if the groom can’t provide for the woman he marries, why does he marry? He should opt to stay single. I was also brought up with these beliefs like marital home is my home after marriage, whatever may happen with me in my husbands’ family, I should learn to adjust & adapt etc. These rules laid by the society were made by the people who are the part of the society. Rules are imposed so that everyone in the society can lead a peaceful life. But those are meant to change along with the time & situation. We make society. So, if changes are to be brought, it has to be started from us & gradually it will impact society too. Don’t these girls really deserve a second chance in life or is suicide the only option?

When life gives someone a second chance, its after giving long & deep thoughts, they try to embrace it. Because after going through whatever they have faced, a fear or doubt remains in their heart always. The scar which was left with them after the previous experience, would never fade that they become thoughtful or rather doubtful, when life gives them a second chance.

There wouldn’t be a single person who has not wished for a second chance at least once in his life. Then why do we frown at those who try to grab their second chance?

The book Second Chance is written by my cousin Meera Gopalakrishnan which will make you think about it. It is the story of Aravind, Archana, Ancy & Karthik. But we can see each of these either in ourselves or in people around us. We always talk about there is only one life, we live only once etc. Then why should we live with a person who is not compatible, just because of some stupid rules laid by the society? I believe in live yourself & let others also to live.

I hope this book Second Chance would help at least few people to think & act differently thereby bringing a change for a happy world.

Second Self

 

Just like any other relation, friends should also be an integral part of our life. There may be many things like few secrets or some anxieties etc which you may not be able to share with your family or even with that special person in your life. But you can do it without any doubt or hesitation with your friend. Everyone needs such a friend on whom you can rely upon, irrespective of time or surroundings. There should be some handful of friends from each & every phase of your life who have seen your best as well as your worst side. A friend who supports, listens & understands you without any prior conclusion or judgement. He/she need not be the one who can provide you the solution. But friend is a person with whom you can share your problem and lighten your mind which might in turn help you to make a decision or solution. It is not the number of friends that matters, but the quality of friends who stand by you through thick & thin. But remember to choose your friends wisely. A false friend is dangerous than an open enemy. We would definitely at some point of our life reach a stage where in we get tired of playing the roles of mother/father, uncle/aunt, brother/sister, then we might need a friend with whom we can be ourselves. A friend with whom we can be the true self, which we forgot or got buried deep under somewhere during those busy times of our life.

P.S. Phases of life means school, college, work or any other social activity.