Long Distance Relationship

I have heard from my friends & relatives that long distance relationships won’t survive. When this proposal came, many of them reminded me of it as well. Recently a friend of mine, who is also a sailor Queen, had posted this thing. That’s when this topic came to my mind. It’s true that there is a hardship in maintaining a long distance relationship. But if you are trying to meet from both ends, it truly is a blessing too. Communication plays an important role in a long distance relationship. But that itself is the main problem in a sailor’s life. No Internet Onboard. But there are email systems in which every single person can read your mail. There is no privacy. But here too our mother tongue helped us. Our mother tongue, Konkani – being a minority language is followed by very less people. So whenever I had to send special messages, I used to type in English. I had to wait for several days for his phone call. (P.S. I can’t make a call even if I wish to make one). That’s when I started to make use of this Email system to its fullest. I used to compose my mail as if I’m writing a diary but with timestamps, and would click send only just a minute before I go to sleep. So there were days when there used to be really long mails. I used to share even a minute details of things happened around me, how I felt that day etc without missing any single detail. Another drawback of this email system is that it is a pure text message which means, you can’t attach any document or photo. Also it has some word limit too. My sailor is a very big fan of Manchester United Football Club. So I used to send him the daily match report. But that single match report has to be sent in 4-5 emails part by part as there was limit in size per mail. Also there shouldn’t be any image or emojis either. But these emails have helped us to build a foundation for our relation. It is through these emails, we started to know each other. His emails would normally end in 2-3 sentences.

Every individual in a relationship has to be given their personal space. People belonging to elder generation find fault in whatever new gen do. But there is a thing which I really like about new gen. New gen couples believe in sharing. Let it be a household chore or parenting or financial or any other matter. There is a mutual respect for each individual rather than for dominance/authoritative. So this long distance relation has helped us in believing sharing & mutual respect. We both discuss together and either of us has never stopped the other from pursuing her/his dream. All the decisions taken (even if it is against my/his will) have been discussed among us. Sometimes, lessons are to be learnt from one’s own experiences/failures. We do have our long night conversations and all of them are not mature or about our future plans. At times, we too become the naughty & mischievous kid hidden in our heart.

There would be lot of love immediately after he returns back from the ship. But the moment it’s time for fight, he will have to join the ship. It doesn’t mean that we don’t fight. Yes, we do. But the fights are also the mode of communication. And the fights are not carried over to next day because there would be another new reason to fight for the next day. 😜

The long distance has also made us realize how much we are dependent/independent on each other. It has made both of us strength as well as weakness for either of us. The long distance relationship is purely based on a trust that whatever may come your way; the other will support you blindly. It gives you time & space for healing, understanding & self development. Also there is no matter of taking for granted in a long distance relationship. And if it’s a sailor in particular, then one can say that you have won a jackpot. He is the one who knows/understands the value of time, effort & hard work. So when a sailor is on vacation, he makes use of every second to its maximum. Even in the midst of his never ending courses & exams.