Healthy Relationship

A relation is healthy only when the people in the relationship are given space to grow. If you try to pull it, it will break all the ties and go away just like a kite. Each person in a relationship is equally important. So, for the relationship to sustain, there should be mutual respect, love & open communication. There is a proverb in Malayalam which means “No smell for the jasmine in the front yard”. We do not accept or respect what we have. Instead, we keep yearning to get those things from outside. Everyone needs acceptance for whatever they do or not do irrespective of their age & relation. If you want to be respected, learn to respect others. You will be respected automatically. Instead, of pointing out errors of a person all the time, try to appreciate the good things he/she does. When you point your finger at a person in front of you, remember rest four fingers are pointing towards you. So, before you criticize others, it would be good if you check on yourself first. And moreover, respect is not a thing which can be gained by force. It should come from others heart. If you want to be respected change your deeds, attitude & mind your language. If you are a brother, behave like one. If not, you won’t be respected or even recognized as a brother. Never try to be authoritative. Similar is the case with each & every relation including friendship. Respect & love are the things which cannot be snatched or earned with force. It has to be earned through your deeds.  

In India, people try to impose the relationship & the relationship rules. That's the reason why, today we find many breakups of a family. Relationships are not to be imposed; they are to be felt free. Even a 4year kid needs his own space, time & privacy. That's the main reason why we don't find joint families anymore. If time, space & privacy is given to each individual of a family, there would still be joint family and there is no other blessing than being in a joint family. It is said that, we should keep our minds & heart open to changes & learning even as we grow. When learning stops, the growth of the man stops there. Grandparents expect grandchildren to spend time with earlier. Grandparents treat grandchildren as kids and behaves so. They just keep thinking of relative age, forget about their respective age. So, for grandchildren it feels like being in a forced relationship. They feel suffocated and try to slip away. That's how a relationship ends. As elders of family, if you need respect and time you are not supposed to only dictate rules. You should be willing to explain why and how the rule is and thus convince entire family. Not only that, those rules are to be amended with the time.