Shhhhhh!!! Speak with Caution

Few days back, I had been for a get together. From past few years, I have been avoiding these types of get togethers or functions due to some personal reasons which you would come to know in the upcoming paragraphs. And I was lucky enough that I got a very big reason to avoid these functions – COVID. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t meet people. Yes, I do but only those who I think would leave a positive effect or have already left a positive imprint in the past. Your words are sharper than swords. So, the selection of words is important and be careful when using on someone. Because your wrong selection of words can kill someone's happiness.

When reading the prologue, many would come up with so called solutions such as

1)     God has given two ears. Listen through one and leave it through the other.

2)     We are all family/well-wishers. So, when we say something about/against you, its because we care for you.

To these I have only one reply. Kindly refrain from your advices/suggestions. If we really need one, we would ask without any hesitation to someone we think would give us right solution or lead us through the right path. If you want to say something, why don’t you leave a positive comment? 

People come to you and give you some random feedback/suggestions which would leave people like me in a dilemma. Recently I got such a comment. For following 2-3 days I kept on thinking about it and I was not able to think anything apart from it. Suddenly I came across a small article about spitting out words carefully. After reading that I started thinking about that person and her words. Why do I care so much? Does that person play any significant role in your life/heart? Was this person present to comfort/help you, when there were setbacks?

The article goes like this. A friend of a new mom visited her at hospital, immediately after the delivery. In midst of their conversation, she randomly asked what did your husband gift you on your delivery? The friend left in a while, but the question was haunting the new mom and there was a fight between her husband and herself which ended up in a divorce.

Another incident from that article goes like this. A well-wisher met Ramesh and he asked about where was Ramesh working & how much does he earn? On learning the salary Ramesh earns, the well-wisher asked him how does Ramesh meet the necessities with this mere salary? Then Ramesh said, there is no other way than this. The so-called well-wisher went leaving a spark in Ramesh’s mind. Ramesh started creating problems when his employer declined of salary hike and ended up losing his job. Now Ramesh was jobless.

After reading this, at least some of you will think why do we have to listen to people like this. It is easy to say. But haven’t we not done the same when some friend or some relative commented on something happening in our life? Haven’t we lost something precious, when we reacted to the situation on which they commented?

I too learnt from that article. Let them think whatever they want to. If she really cared for me, then she would have presented it in a nicer way and that too during some private moment, or may be pull me towards some corner and share her concern, not in public so as to make me feel guilty or wrong in others eyes. Words once said, cannot be taken back. That’s why people say we should never speak when we are angry or elated or at the peak of any kind of emotion.   

Remember that words from us might bring a significant change in others. When we go to the roots of the fights between friends or relationships, the reason might be the words from a third person who may not be aware that he is the reason for the spark. We never know what impact our words create on others. Even though this might not be true for all fights, but this is a reason for at least few. Words are to be wisely used and they should be used in such a way that, they create or build a strong relation, not to even make a small mental stress.