Treasures of a Woman

 

In India, a girl is grown up always hearing the words that her parental house is never hers. She is the one to be gone after marriage. So never there is feeling of self belonging towards her parental home. Once she is married, she starts considering her husband’s house as hers. But again, here she is made to realize all the time that she has to watch her every step/action/word or else she would be thrown out or outcast from the home. Then how is she expected to consider her husband’s house as her own or people living there as hers when she herself is being considered as the one to be thrown out? Also after marriage, a girl is never expected to be back to her parental home. It is considered as shame for the family. At times, this is what results in suicide of a bride. It may be due to dowry issues or any other physical/mental torture she has been undergoing. So she neither belongs to the house/family where she was born in nor in the family where she is married off to. But let me remind you suicide is not the solution to this.

A woman in her lifetime has to take care of her three wealth.

• Education        
• Self Respect
• Health                  

This can never be snatched by others. So always protect these and never ever lose these. They are our wealth as well as our beauty/treasure. If you don’t have any one of these, remember you will be treated worse than even a servant. Always stand up for yourself. Never expect anybody else to speak up for you. Always stay independent especially financial. Try to earn yourself, how much ever small it is.

 

Life of a Sailor

There is no work that a marine officer cannot do. There is no situation that a marine officer cannot handle. There is no condition that a marine officer cannot live in.

• If you have complaint against your food cooked by your wife/mother, just become a sailor once. You will know the taste of your homely food.
  

• If  you say, you are tired of your job, and then live a life of a sailor once. We work 24x7 without sleep, food and in extreme conditions. The engine room is itself 40° Celsius. It is the work place for a sailor with vibrations, high temperature and noise. The noise are ear deafening. On top of that you have to wear a boiler suit. We use the worst quality of oil and purify it ourselves. In other words, there would be more oil in a body of a mariner than his own blood. 
  

• If you say, you are tired staying at home with your family, be a sailor for once. You will know how to be on ship without your loved ones around. I do miss a lot of important days & functions at home. I’m not able to be with my family when I have to be a strong support to them.
  

• I’m not just an engineer or my job is not confined to a particular department. I’m a plumber, electrician, fire-fighter, police & a doctor onboard.
  

• In this era, have you ever thought of a life without internet or communication? If you are surprised then we the sailors are examples, for whom internet is not a facility/need, it is a luxury.
  

• This is a profession in which you have to attend few courses (mandatory) & give exams after every sail. This happens after every sail unless you want to change your profession or stop sailing. Half the time of your vacation is spent on this. In India, it takes a junior marine engineer 13 written exams & nine oral exams with countless attempts to become a chief engineer along with all the practical sea experience at every rank. Similar is the case with navigation side as well. Each & every exam is conducted by the government and needs to be passed individually. There is no any transparency to this system.    

And this is not a matter of day or two. It is the story of every mariner for half of his life as every year he/she has to sail for at least 6 months. Imagine people there working out at sea for 9 months. And remember there are people who have been sailing for close to 1 year because of the pandemic. And moreover in extreme emergencies related to health, we are airlifted so that we can be admitted to a nearby hospital on land which might be miles away. Let me quote an example which one of my fellow worker faced. His wife was pregnant. So he joined the ship planning to be with her during her last trimester & delivery. But in the middle of his contract, his father in law passed away. Along with that he got a bad news that his father is in last stage of cancer. Juggling with these two responsibilities/shocks, they lost their kid. And he couldn’t be with his wife during this most needed hour. Not only this, there are situations wherein you meet your first born months after delivery. I have been married for 9 years now. But I & my wife have celebrated only 4 anniversaries and 5 birthdays (mine as well as her in total) together. The work & life onboard is not tough because the word tough is mere underestimation of the nature of job. There would be times when you mentally breakdown or feel frustrated onboard. You would feel like you badly need a break/vacation. Even voice of your cries would be carried away by the blowing wind.  

Let me put you in another situation which we come across almost all the time. What would you do when you feel an earthquake? You would run out if you are indoors. It is a situation where you won’t be able to walk or run right? We too experience a severe situation than earthquake which is called rolling & pitching of a vessel. But no one stops working even in that situation. Climbing a normal stair would feel like you are climbing a mountain. You will not be in position to stand straight or even balance yourself from falling either. So can you imagine us working in that situation? Those who have sea sickness/motion sickness, just wrap a polythene cover around their mouth to avoid throwing out and continue to work with that. So no matter what, we have to work with split fingers, swollen legs or even with a fracture. There is no sick leave onboard.

It is the ship which carries everything from one place to another. We at times carry dangerous & flammable chemicals other than food, car etc to different cities of the world. We have to even sometimes pass through piracy areas. Have you ever imagined how would we fight if in case of piracy attacks? When pirates fire bullets at us, we fight them with water. You would be laughing reading this right? Even a 5 year old kid would laugh at it. But that is the truth.

Marriage means responsibility. But it is something we cannot take in our line of work. Imagine for every problem our wives have to take a stand by their own or she has to go to either her parents or mine, what is the point of marriage? It is said that a good communication from both sides is a key behind every relation. The distance already a big problem and the lack of communication makes it worse.

When people around me are surprised of the payment I get, just remember these things. And this is why we are paid high. The payment for a life at sea and for the sacrifices we and our family make.